No excuses for not blogging. Guess I'm just tired. Of everything.
Mostly it's my job, or the management to be precise. I'm tired of being treated like five-year old child, someone who cannot make decisions alone and I'm tired of being the one who always has to yield for the benefit of the company. It's pretty much that I've had enough. S off you w****rs!
I have two choises: one, to apply for a new job, or two, go back to school to study something different, like car maintenance. That would be fun, great excuse to get dirty, plus I think I could get BlueMax fixed along the way as a bonus. Downside to this is that I really don't want to go back to the student life, eating porridge, canned tuna and macaroni six days a week. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again. The new job does sound exciting, I have thought that I could do front office duties, too. Start with the waiting and then move to front office or do a shift now and then. See how it is, how I like it.
Change, that's what I really need.
Few good things too.
Another kendo-camp this week-end. It's the sport, I love it, though lately I've not been participating to the real whacking, with all the gear on. Very good excuses: riding with Elina and she couldn't stay so I cannot. Early mornings and long working days. And the best of all, too tired! Out of shape, mostly. It's not only the sport itself that encourages me to drag my weary bones to the practice twice a week and to these camps, it's a lot to do with the people, the lassies and lads, it's the doing together and the laughs. Then, after whacking, this feel-good that you have done something other that sat on your bum, that you have actually learned something. Like the other day I said to Pauli that I have this feeling that I'm doing something horribly wrong. And he said, 'good for that only means you're learning.' Eh? This is good?? Another thing, I've become to realise some things that the lads in their infinite patience have said since the beginning: strenght. Hitting with shinai is not the same as chopping wood, it's more like 'tapping' your opponent, the strenght is in the body movement and shouting. I'm the first to admit that I still do it wrong, it has only came easier to spot my weaknesses with the new beginners around. To correct them, my weaksesses, is much longer process, it'll take years, but time I have. Never ending path, that's what doing kendo is. I wouldn't have it in any other way.
I met GreenEyes yesterday and I was thinking that when was the last time I saw him and came up with three weeks. It's not that I'd not wanted to see him, but it appears that I've been either working, doing kendo or then I've just been too tired & cranky to see anyone. I mean, what's the point of seeing your friends if all you can do is whine and be sarcastic to the exhaustion? I don't want to do that. So, yesterday we sat over cup of coffee and did the usual. *sigh* I truly wish I'd have something else to tell about the man but the neverending discussion of litterature. It's just that there is not. Most times. Yesterday, however, we were talking about how words change. We ended up on him studying, way back, different dialects of Ancient Greek and how the dialect of the ruling city affected the language and how the words could be tracked down to Sansrcrit(?). Need I say that I felt ignorant? This just to demonstrate that he still can do it, leave me wondering where does he get all that knowledge? Is there no limit? Apparently not. Back to the Greeks, this was just an opening scene for the real twist. His friend had smsd to him one night, about two in the morning, asking what was Plato's contribution to philosophy (or something very similiar). Luckily, GreenEyes had been working that night, and he said that it was somewhat akward to push the newspapers in the mailboxes and think of Plato. I said that if I'd have to think something of that sort, my mind would propably to cartwheels and backflips and eventually came to total standstill. Not that it hasn't, quite the opposite. Try to do customer service while your mind is gazillion of lightyears away in another Galaxy. Also, I know now what I'll get him for Chistmas/Birthday present. So, GreenEyes, if you happen to stumble on this, consider being warned.
Mum's coming over next week. Another thing to look forward to. It'll be fun to show her around here, do some (Christmas)shopping. And I think she needs to get out of that little town, to air her head, so to speak.
...Bit uncoherent, sorry about that. My head is not in order. Too little caffeine. Blame it on the lack of time and sleep.
Renny-Alexander
12/10/06 New toys to play with teach
Right, I do need to apologise to all of ye for not being online for over two months.
Reason one: Holiday. I was in Ireland for six days (sadly) and the rest of the four weeks holiday I spent with Rika, Janne & mum in North.
Reason two: A busted harddrive. No viruses, nothing, just plain break down. Everything lost!
So, for the last week or so I've been teaching this new comp-combination to behave. Still lot to do, sadly. One major work to do, to rewrite my Dream and Reality, because all that I had written so far is now buried in the bitsemetary. Like thanks a f*****g lot! Luckily, I do have prints of the chapters, but it really does no help. Nor is it any consolation that I've known since chapter 5/6 that all needs to be rewritten anyhow. Blasted!
The GreenEye, then. He had bought a spanking new Mac and iPod and when I heard this, I said him that he is turning out to be a real teen! (I'm no better, as will be said later) So, we've been sitting over coffee many times this autumn, almost once a week, mainly discussing about literature, as usual. My book collection just keeps getting larger every time I see the GreenEye. What else? He gave me a cd of french chansons, some fine ones and some not really my kind of music. All in all, the good ones are enough to overcome the bad ones. So, GreenEye: 
The new toys then, nothing fancy, just things that make life a little easier.
A portable mp3 player, built around a usb memory stick. Very handy, very light and very easy to lose. Why? Because transfer of data can be real pain in the arse sometimes.
A new phone. I made a slave deal with a local operator, this much/month for two years. A brand new Sony Ericsson K800i, (right, it is the injection/idiot make) with all the fancy new things, music player, radio, net and 3.2 megapixels CyberShot digital camera. The deal includes 400 minutes of phonecalls and an instalment to amortise the phone so that at the end of the two year period I and the operator are even. At the end of the day it may be a bit more expensive to buy the phone this way, but I certainly don't afford to put 400E to a new phone. If that was the downside, then the good side is that I need not worry over the phone bill, it is fixed.
The other sci-fi/fantasy story I mentioned earlier. I wrote five pages of that while my comp was at the doctor and GreenEye read it and said that it was just horrible, the worst piece I've written. Most likely. I wrote it in Finnish and quite frankly, I've forgotten most of the Finnish grammar. So, no excuses there. I asked if the 'opening scene', considering long prose, was good enough. I cannot remeber the exact reply, but I was heading out the right direction, on the general. I never thought that the five pages were ready, just that I was doing it the right way. Enough for now, the story needs plenty work.
Few words of kendo, I'm thinking of graduating the 4th kyu this December, if possible. I asked Ilkka how he feels about it and he said that I should go for it. Not that he's been around much lately. He is recovering the 'operation' he had earlier this year and it seems to have worked just fine. I'm pleased and happy for him. Of course, now I can learn from him. Here's a twist, he asked me the other day that when are we (I & he) going to fight. And when I said an earliest day, he says fine, I'll see you about. Strange man... Haven't seen him since.
Enough said for now, need to fly.
Renny-Alexander
04/08/06 Excuses
Truly, excuses is all that I've had for all summer. Not a bloody line written and let's face it, time I've had. Plenty. And I actually know which way the story is going, Chapter 12 is only lacking the tedious typing part, it is ready in my head. But that doesn't really help those who want to read it. Right?
No more excuses but typing, typing the evening and night away. Blah!
It might just be that I don't want to finnish the story at all. Don't know. I'd hate to leave my WritingFriends hanging and I love to make unexpected and difficult-to-understand -end. *rubs hands together*
And here I am, still yapping and not typing...*sigh*
Renny-Alexander
14/07/06 Love from....
Strangely enough, lately kendo has been lacking some of the spark it had before. Before the 'graduation' I mean. Before it there was the anticipation of the possible failure, but since then, it's been a bit of a bore. Mostly I think it is because of the heat and 'tho I'm not whining about the heat (so that I can bitch about the bitter cold in the winter with clear consience), it still is warm, too warm to do kendo, for me taste. Were we doing it outside, it would be another matter. But we're not.
So, yesterday it's me and four lads, Pauli, Kimmo, Pukke and LeKedoMaster Ilkka! I haven't seen Ilkka for how long? Six, seven weeks at least and I did not expect to see him until late summer/ early autumn because of that shoulder of his. If you expected me to have a bit of a chat with him, you're right, I did. I just had know how the shoulder is doing. Sore as hell, was the reply. They had made three extra holes on the man, one for the camera and two for, what Ilkka called, crochet hooks. He told that the nerve there had been rubbing against bone and that it was all ragged. Ilkka said that they has dug a groove for the nerve and it would take another six months to see if the treatement has worked. And for his sake I truly do hope that'll do the trick. He loves kendo and to see him, clearly, suffering with every stroke, makes me want to winch too, for I can feel his pain.
The doctor had said to Ilkka to apply cold on the shoulder and beeing the headstrong Finn as he is, he applied the cold, internally, in the form of cold beer! He said the beer serves also as painkiller, few beers in the evening and he can sleep. Also, I learned one of his nasty habits, and of all the bad, disgusting, ickyicky habits it had to be snuf! He ought be horsewhipped for that. Even the thought of snuf makes me very sick, it's the way how it is used that disgusts me. Anyway, hence LeKendoMaster shall also be referred to as Snufkin.
He's a wicked man, trying to break my focus by winking at me. Evil, evil man! but he makes me laugh, I cannot deny that. I might as well admit that I had missed him, too.
Now, I must make a note, just that no-one gets the wrong idea. I feel a certain kind of kinship to the man, he's very good at kendo and I want to learn from him as much as I can and he is my friend and as my friend I love him, no more. Clear then?
Renny-Alexander
13/07/06 Search: engine
Aye, I'm in the need of one (1) 1,6 litre turbo diesel w/ -100 000 mileage for BlueMax. Anyone know where I can get it?
More pressing matters: I'm flying over to Ireland on August 16. Finally! Unfortunately I cannot stay but five days because there is this summer-home -project that needs to be done this summer and it cannot be postponed any longer. So, for me convenience I needed to check the dimensions for the hand-luggage and while doing so, I read what not to pack in it. The items list said, for safety reasons, not to pack any sharp objects in, i.e. scissors, knives, corcsrews, knitting needeles, tweesers, golf clubs or ice skates.
At the golf clubs I just had to laugh. Since when have golf clubs been the said sharp objects? Aren't they more likely the infamous blunt objects? And ice skates? 
Renny-Alexander
22/06/06 Alive
It's been a while...I totally forgot my so called on-line life for a month, on purpose. I picked up a book and read and read, one book turned out to be seven books. Then there was a kendo-camp and kyu-'graduation'. And let's not forget my work, which is a poor excuse anyway.
About the books, I finished the P.D. James' Innocent Blood and 'though it is not exactly the kind of book I normally read, I enjoyed it much. Perhaps because it was so not me. Then I read a pile of books that fall into the 'summer reading' section, books that I've read half a dozin times before. The second last was Timothy Zahn's Outbound Flight. I picked it up and started to read and I nearly missed the bus for work the other day, because I could barely put it down. Bid mistake to on non-off-day. Good plot, fine, believable charachters...and the book is rather thick, always a good sign. Then the Watson book, or two-in-one, The Legacy of the Jedi & The Secrets of the Jedi. What I don't like about books and this is especially true with J. Watson's, is the font size! I must protest, size 12 is fine, but larger than that, NO! Bigger the font, more pages and you find turning the page constantly. Other than that, I loved the story and as always, I was laughing out loud.
The kendo-camp. I took part of the 'graduation' and passed, but not without bruises? blisters? Bruises on my arm and on my right foot! Thanks to this Latvian man who kindly stomped on it with all his 80? 90? kilos weight. More my fault that his, I was not quick enough. No broken bones, I think, but the foot is hurting. Small price to pay. I am glad that I passed and even more so that Ilkka won't be around for at least another month because he would surely crush my self-respect in kendo, not totally of course, but enough to make me feel like nothing again. Seven of us, from Tampere, went there and all of us came back more or less 'wounded', blisters and bruises mostly and one sprained muscle.
Now I need to get back to my story, I have let it rest, also on purpose, for a while now. This spring I was really were tired of the whole thing because I've been writing it so long. I do have a need to write, there is a new stroy developing at the back of my head, another sci-fi/fantasy piece.
Renny-Alexander
25/05/06 Life after Eurovision Song Contest
First, I am very happy of the victory. I was watching the show from beginning to the unexpected end and I must say that Lordi was best. The show & song stood out of all the other. (Bubble-gum-pop by teenage-girl in her undies shaking her butt)
Has the ESC become the contest of the least-dressed woman or is it still a SONG contest?
Second, if anyone again comes to me with the claim that Lordi & Hard Rock Hallelujah is about devil worship, I'm going to beat the person in question with my trusted shinai and then serve the unfortunate being the lyrics, like, here, read it!
Question for you so-called true-believers: have you really read the lyrics? Not just one line at a time, but the entitiy? The lines interact with one another, like in any poem.
I have read them and even with the little knowledge of Christianity I have, I can say that I find it very hard to believe, based on the lyrics alone, that the song is about devil worship. Another thing, thank you Rika, is that religious terms are used to describe that rock is not about devil worship. I agree.
The outfits, then. They are scary, I agree to that, and boy, are they ugly! Is that enough to condemn them? Ye true-believers, are all, who are ugly, devil worshippers? How about all that is scary, does it all come from the devil? And the horny-headed creature himself? Isn't he, too, from god? The fallen angel?
Enogh of this. All I ask of ye, whatever you believe in any divinity or not, is tolerance. Ignorance leads to fear of the unknown, that to anger, hate and suffering.
Judge man not by his beliefs, but by his deeds.
Renny-Alexander
09/05/06 Another Tuesday
Looking out of my window this morning I saw the green outside, trees on leaves. Finally! Downside to this is that I'm sneezing. Allergic to poll, I guess. Hopefully it will be over in a week or two.
Oh, I know it's another three months to my birthday, but this is what I'd like to have. Pretty please! *blink blink*
*sigh* back to business, it's laundry day, also a bit of crisis, nothing to wear. Honestly, at least nothing decent, nothing which on you'd venture on a public place. Uh-oh, no.
Renny-Alexander
04/05/06 A Chance meeting
Today I washed BlueMax, twice, and started to scrape cosmetic rust off. Later I'll slap some paint over the spots and give Max a good wax.
This is not the point.
We had a meeting in the afternoon and I rode me bike to it and who do I meet on the trafic lights? Drop-dead gorgeus GreenEye on his bike. 
What a pleasant surprise, I tell him and I am thinking that this is becoming a bad habit, for I knew I was going to meet him.
And all ye non-believers, I cannot remember a time when I have been certain that I meet him and actually don't. When I get this feeling, it holds true.
So, GreenEye had his bike back, he had taken it to be modified. He had spanking new break system on his two-wheeler, much like the ones in cars. In all honest, I have no idea what they are called, but they look very, very nice and are almost maintenence free. No more changing the rubber-thingies. Did I mention that they cost a lot of money? GreenEye said that something about 180Euro for the parts plus work. I did not ask how much it cost but I'd presume something between 200-250Euro. He said that he wants the breaks to be in perfect order for he thought to go cycling in Norway this summer, but now he's not too sure about it.
*sigh* I know I will miss him if he goes there and if he does, I must ask him to throw me a card or two.
Another 'announcement', added a pic of me, in full combat gear. Aye, LeKendokaRei, also link on Pics page.
Renny-Alexander
30/04/06 Kind regards from...
Saturday afternoon and kendo practise. Paricipants: Veera, my sister-in-arms, yours truly and one lad (sorry, haven't asked his name!). And all three of us led by, surprise surpsire, Ilkka! Before we even get strted I'm pretty much 
because of other reason(s) I'll tell later on.
So, we, i.e., Veera and I, do kata and I end up making a spectacle of meself with me ignorance. Great start! I feel, oh, so much better already. /sarcasm.
Rei: nil, Ilkka: one
Next, still kata, I succesfully confuse LeKendoMaster by asking how do the feet move on the third kata.
Rei: one, Ilkka: one.
Later: doing kedo-ish. Not so good for yours truly. Veera gets praises, Rei nothing. Note, I'm not jealous, really. Veera deserved it. I'm happy for her for praise from Ilkka is very rare. Again later, $keigo: Veera & Ilkka, very good, action, movement, fun to watch.
Rei & Ilkka: dancing about, Rei losing her focus & patience & getting her arse whupped. Rei is upset of all the negative comment and further hurt by LeKendoMaster for he laughs at her face!
This is how Rei feels: 
Rei: one, Ilkka: four.
Ilkka 
Rei
Rei: 
So, that's how it was, all the way. I am nothing, zero, nil, nada, rien. It wasn't enough for him to whack me senseless, no! He had to give me the lip too. What cheek!
A question that Ilkka asked was that how come the kendoka from our own club avoid him, but others, from other clubs, do not? He asked if we are afraid of him, or what. Very good question. I'm not afraid of him, it does not matter to me whom I am up against.
Answers:
1. Level of expertise. There is a HUGE difference between fifteen years and seven months.
2. Giving constructive critic. It is difficult, but if you point out the faults, you should also give some praise. Stick-and-carrot in right propotions.
3. The lip. In the form of words and laughs. It is all right to smile on the critic you give, to soften the often hard words, but it is not all right to laugh at someone and give verbal critic. Too much, too many times and you end up being disliked. I know the intention is good, but that doesn't, unfortunately, take away the hurt.
Aaaw, I wish for the gazillionth of time that I had a real, working lightsaber and I'd have enough skill to wield it gracefully.
The Other Reason(s)
The Green-Eye. We had coffee out on Pyynikki on Tuesday and talked about the horrendous workload of organising, sorting out and writing, wether it is fact or fiction. He said that it is quite difficult to keep all the million different strings in your hand and make the text flow, both within the chapter and also within the whole book. He also said that, at this point, there are three circles (his expression) that he wants to fit in together, three circles that, from the outside, might seem to have no relation at all with each other. Later I said to him that I so understand his need to be alone and write this chapter. Thus I do not phone him every week and whine him to come out because I know how frustrating it is when someone is constantly harrasing you with social demands.
Hmm, it seems that all I ever talk about with the Green-Eye is litterature, in one form or the other. In all honesty, we do talk about other stuff, too, but writing is The Thing, it's what we have in common. Although he writes fact and I fiction, the process of writing is not that different and the problems we face are quite similiar too.
Back to reality, I must stop this lousy excuse and go offline and write the last chapter of part 2 and be done with it. It's not going to be easy, but if I want to finish the story, I have to write it.
Renny-Alexander
11/04/06 Curious
Short entry, just a qustion for all ye wise out there. How is it possible to peel the skin off from the tip of your toe? The part that does not come in to contact with the floor?
Right, the Yoshiko-sensei practice last night went, at least for my part, straight down the drain. I sucked, big time. I felt so stupid, incompetent and slow. Hurrah! Kendo is such fun!
The only comfort was that Saturday's slavemaster sat by the wall and looked, well, rather grumpy.
Renny-Alexander
08/04/06 Beaten with sticks, again
I seriuosly need to consider that I have some sort of mental illness, for I do not think it sane to, voluntary, go and get yar arse whupped. No, there has to be something wrong with my head.
Kendo is such fun!
Right, just excuse me sarcasm there, if you please. Really, not very good day for me, mostly because Ilkka, who was kind enough to exhaust us all. And I just bet my left calf and butt cheek are bruised tomorrow. Again, domo arigato goziemazu, Ilkka. mindthatitisthelasttimeyouwhackmeonmearseoryourunlikeyou'veneverrunbefore
/sarcasm
More to that, on Monday and Tuesday we'll have again a Japanese sensei to train us. I must be mad to even think that I am able to do kendo on those days for I am sore & beaten already.
Enough of kendo, this time.
The GreenEyedDevil. He did remember to save the article on Aamulehti for me! Awwwww, isn't he the kindest? Two pages with big pictures. Nice.
Sadly, yesterday was the last of our English conversation class so that fun is over for the summer and now I have to come up with good excuse to phone him so I can get to see him. No matter. Anyhoo, I barely could keep me hands off his shirt, grey-green, fluffy thing and oh, so soft. I am strange, so?
After the lesson I asked him for a cup of coffee, but he said he'd go home to get some sleep for he had woken up two in the morning. Needelss for me to say I was a bit disappointed.
And after that:
Me: By the way, did you have your hair cut?
Ismo: No, it shortened by itself.
Me: Ô_o
Ismo: laughs.
And he don't laugh very often but when he does, it's worth the wait. Now I do not want to mention his smile that is the second most beautiful in this world, anditmakesmeveryweak. Sorry, laddie, Liam holds the first place in this matter.
I'm off now, to bake some bread and tie up my hair, work tomorrow.
Renny-Alexander
03/04/06 Back to normal life
I think I've had quite enough of kendo for one week. Or not. I just cannot wait to get to the practise on Saturday! I've never been beaten like this before, I am sore all over, both feet hurt on the bottom (mostly because of many blisters), I have at least two bruises on my head (domo arigato, Henry!) and cracked heel which Ilkka was kind enough to, at least to try to, bind. The shinai I normally use needs a very close inspection & maintenence, my spare-shinai is in equally bad condition, the new that I bought is having a bath.
On top of this, Friday afternoon, while I was picking up some sandwiches we had ordered, I got a parking ticket, 40 euro. Blasted! But wait, there's more! A bit later I realise that I have lost my credit card! Of course I reported it ASAP but it was very nice to got to this camp with no money at all. (Luckily I had already paid everything and for the new shinai Aki was kind enough to lend me the money.)
The same evening, the first whacking session is in a rather big sports hall but add about a hundered people there with their shinais and Yours Truly had to bail out like a coward. Too many people in too small place. No space for me to breathe free. This is the same as it is with Christmas time shopping, too many people. And as I have discovered lately is that I am people shy, and since many things had gone wrong that day and I'd been running from one place to another like a mad hen without a head, only added to my anxiety.
On Saturday the whacking session was in another place, larger, lighter and not so confined and I was able to get beaten, many times and not only but my brothers-in-arms, but also from our japanese guests. Man, they're fast. Aki and I were standing by the wall, having a breether and he says that 'fight' with any of the Japanese senseis would be so that when he started to hit, the sensei would have time to go for a cup of tea, do counterattack and still Aki would never know what hit him. That much for speed comparison. Of course we've only just begun and thay've been doing it for years and years.
Also Saturday morining there was a naginata show. The naginata is very similar to European halbert or glaive, weapon of war. Nasty looking thing. More info can be found on All Japan Naginata Federation or International Naginata Federation.
Sunday was mostly for competition and me beeing a beginner, was excluded. Not that I mind, it is also quite educative to watch, especially in the company I was with, Kimmo, Pukke, Mika, Ilkka, and my brothers-in-arms, Henry, Aki and Veera. As you might have noticed, there are not many women but I am not the least bit bothered by this because the best friends I have ever made, are with men.
About that cracked heel, it also involves a journalist from Aamulehti, Ismo, a phone call, one founding member of the Fudo Kamae with his wife and Ilkka. I try to keep this short. On the morning this journalist from Aamulehti comes to see the practise with a photographer and the story will be published today. I instantly think of Ismo, that maybe he could take a copy for me because he is delivering them, so I decide that I must phone him and ask. After lunch, when the heel really starts to give me pain, I seek Ilkka and ask if there is anything he can do about it but on the way we get intercepted by this founding member and his wife and after a short small talk they two and Ilkka go somewhere and I go out to make that phone call. Not three minutes later, I am on the phone with Ismo, agreeing that he'll give me his copy on Friday and then:
Ilkka, from the front door: "Come, let's get that foot fixed!"
Me: a nod to Ilkka and to Ismo "I gotta go now. Ilkka promised to tend my cracked heel."
Ismo: "Ok. Are you having fun?"
Me: "Yes, a lot. I really got to go, like right now. I'll talk to you more on Friday, ok?"
Ismo: "Ok."
I can only imagine what went through Ismo's mind after that phone call, for this is not the first time I've talked about Ilkka, or the lads.
Oh, I almost forgot, I met Kaj Kostiander from Tornio and I have an open invitation to their practise whenever I'm thereabouts.
I need to go now, to order a new credit card and also to sandpaper and oil my shinais.
Renny-Alexander
26/03/06 New lay
Aye, I finally got it done. Photo is working, so no need to wait for the next one to come for another year.
Some excuses for not blogging: I've been busy with kendo and especially now that we have a group of fifteen Japanese coming over the next weekend. Add to that about one hundered other people and what you get is a week-end camp -thingy. So, I've been busy arranging that and of course my work, from which I've been absent due to, first, a very bad cough, and then, a week later, due to an allergic reaction to medical substance. My face was all puffed up, I had bright red spots all over me. Seriously, from head to toe.
It's abit short entry, but I got still lot to do.