I
me sister!
I know perfectly well that September has begun, so maybe this is just that. 'Shining' time, you know what I mean!
Bear with me, this is quite long story now.
Monday night: I realise that I haven't heard a whim of Ismo for three weeks. The lad's busy, or something else but that does not help. I reason that there must be a good reason for this and I'm propably right. (not the point here) Anyway, I really want to see him and get good laughs at the very least...*sigh* All right, I like the lad, a lot. (sothere,I'vesaiditandnowwecanallforgetit)
Tuesday: No change, 'tho I keep checking my phone like every half an hour because I have this feeling that something has changed. Previous night without sleep and I fall in my bed and lights out!
Wednesday: Still nothing! But I have other things on my mind, Chapter 6 and the Writer's Course. Still that feeling that something has changed, only now I know that I must check my mails. Let's face it, I'd've get this much sooner, but the sleepless night dulled my senses. So, that night I check the mails, before I start with that Chapter 6. Well, hello hello! I sent a stupid questionnaire to Ismo like how long ago? and there's a reply from him. Seriously, I'd already thought that he'll not reply because it was a bit like pry-pry, tell me this, tell me that, I wanna know. In fact, that was not my point at all when I sent it out. I am not that willing to share things about meself and I thought this a very plausible excuse to do so. So, back to the story, the answers I read were a bit mad, as I had expected, I do that too, they sometimes make no heads, no tails. (there's one answer that I still haven't cracked, but I'll do that quite soon) At the end of that mentioned questionnaire it was asked that which part of your body would you like to be massaged the most? I will NOT tell what answer I got, no way, but I can tell that much that I did not want too meet that lad for a week at least!
Thursday: My day off and I go to fetch some books I ordered. Right before I leave, I get this feeling that maybe I ought to stay at home today, or just be quick about the fetching. But no, I think that since I'm going in the centre, I could make a short visit to the city library, just to see if there are any books about Kendo, my new 'hobby'.
Fact: I know that Ismo goes to the library quite often, but what are the chances of meeting him there? Slim.
Fact 2: My visit will be like in, check the shelves and out.
So, the six cups of coffee consumed before I left home demand my immediate attention (when entering the library) and it is to the loo. As I come out whom do I run into? Aye, the green-eyed devil for a man, Ismo. For the first time in a very long while I am left without words. Not because of the mail, no, for at that moment I didn't even remember it. The only thing I do is to point my finger at him (how rude!) and say: You!
Ismo, smiling coyly: 'You asked for it'
Me: 'So I did but, I'm sure you'll not believe that I knew I was going to meet you here today.'
Do not tell me that it was a coinsidence, I do not believe in them for too many similiar cases have happened to me before. Too many that I could write all of them off as coinsidences. I must quote meself now, from below:
6. If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
I've said this before, to be able to 'tap' into the Force, the Jedi way.
And I say it again and add: I can see things before they happen. Apperently.
There's an old saying, be careful what you wish for, it just might come true. Ô_o
I'm off now, early wake up tomorrow, quick visit to Turku, off to Kendo and then to the Writer's Course with a couple of good and painful bruises!
Renny-Alexander
31/08/05 No brain activity
I nicked this from Rika. Seems the only thing my head is able at the moment.
1. If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
Any Chinese dialect or Japanese would do.
2. If you could have the starring role in any film already made, what would it be?
I am being boring, leading lady in Rob Roy.
3. If you could receive one small package this very moment, who would it be from and what would be in it?
I can think of several people and things, but I believe that I'd really would like to get a passage to Coruscant from some kind soul.
4. If you could own one painting from any collection in the world but were not able to sell it, which work of art would you select?
Munch's The Scream (I think I misspelled that one now)
5. If you were instantly able to play one musical instrument perfectly that you never have played before, what would it be?
Hardanger, it's a violin.
6. If you could possess one supernatural ability, what would it be?
I've said this before, to be able to 'tap' into the Force, the Jedi way.
7. If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned what would it be?
Gah! Reading, I pick reading.
8. If you could have only one piece of furniture in your house, what would it be?
Bed.
9. If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would it be?
Seriously, I'm not that interested to know what are the secrets of any of my friends. The answer is no-one's.
10. If you could have one person as your slave (well-paid and cared for) domestic laborer for one month, who would it be?
Right. I can think of several reasons why mr. Liam Neeson would be perfect.
11. If you could choose the way you will die, how would you want it to happen?
Let it be quick and painless.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow to learn that the major newspaper headlines were about you, what would you want them to say?
Uh. *scratches head* Something nice about me and Liam, like starring in a film together.
13. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
Not believe my eyes.
14. If you could choose the music at your funeral, what would it be, and who would play it?
That would be the End Credits from any of the Star Wars films, most likely from a CD.
15. If you could take away the vocal cords of any person, who would it be?
Anyone who whines.
16. If you had to describe your idea of the perfect mate, how would you do it?
With words, most likely. I am a lousy painter.
17. If you had to have a personal friend redecorate your house, who would you pick to do it?
Tatu. Just out of the curiosity.
18. If you had to choose the worst home you’ve ever lived in, which one was it?
It has not yet come to that.
19. If you could have prevented one thing from happening between you and a friend, what would it have been?
There is no such thing.
20. If you could learn the total number of hours you have spent in your life doing one thing, what would it be?
Reading. Or writing. Would be interesting to know.
21. If you had to describe yourself as a child in one word, what would it be?
Reckless.
22. If you could own a single prop from any film ever made what would you choose?
I can think of a several items I'd like to have. Mac's houseboat, Han's blaster, Crockett's Testa Rosa, full-scale Millenium Falcon, Rob's tartan, Aragorn's sword, Indy's whip, the submarine from K-19, the bug collection from Kinsey, Henry Ducard's sword/staff... If it really came down to choosing one thing, I believe that I'd pick Qui-Gon's lightsaber.
Renny-Alexander
22/08/05 Dropping a line or two
Just click here. Choose 'People' and then '2003-04'. I'm there, quoting Rika: 'Mei Tai Renn. June 10, 2003. Turku. Intergalactic peacekeeper in full Force.'
I me sister!
Renny-Alexander
20/08/05 Lt.Col. & WorkCamp
Right, I thought I'd go over to Dad's just to sign a sales contract (the summer home) but guess what? I ended up in the middle of kitchen remodeling! Out goes the old ones and in comes the new ones. Right about the half way of tearing down the old things I got the cut your losses and get away quickly -feeling. Sometimes, some people just don't understand simple explaining.
You'd not think that kitchen walls would look good with two different styles? I did not think so. Am not pointing fingers at anyone, should look in the mirror meself, from time to time. *laughs*
Saw my dear godfather too, brother to Lt.Col. I can't remember the last time I've seen him, must be years. We had laughs together, thinking back in time and catching up. I must visit him more often, I really should, but I am not really into visits done out of duty.
My book collection has again increased by three, The Essential Guide to Planets and Moons, book of Phraral Verbs (Cambridge) and an English-English (Oxford) dictionary the size of five bricks!
Must go, there is a Swedish tv-mini series Talismanen
Renny-Alexander
10/08/05 Life is changing dangerous
If ye ever thought that swimming is a load of fun, I will prove ye other. I say ye might get killed! A close call for yours truly, the day before yesterday:
I meet Ismo at this beach-ish (changing room & stairs in the water) and the very moment I see him, there is a potential danger: lad's wearing nothing but shorts. And I, on me bike, must make an emergency braking so that I do not end in the water head first, all dressed up.
That was a warning.
Five minutes later I am on my way to go down the concrete stairs that have one exeption: the step at the waterline is made of wood and someone very 'nice and kind' has put this 'pine soap' (mäntysuopa) on it. As a result: It is slippery as hell. Me faith was to slip. *slip**bang!* Nope, no broken bones, but two handsome bruises on my right arm, other the size of palm & fingers, the other just a small one. Not painfull. The tiny one on my back hurts.
Irony, the smallest one is that most painfull. Oh, they are black-purple-blueish and look VERY sore but are not.
Other than that, it was very nice to see Ismo again. That lad makes me laugh...*shakes head* and forget things I'm supposed to do!
I was supposed to go two places, the local Off-Licence and Pharmacist. I said to him that remind me and of course he did not. Me & me head...I have to write things down so that I don't forget them. Anyways, 'a good combination,' Ismo said. Wine bottle for me friend, who had her birthday yesterday and facial creme, available only in the pharmacist. Oh, I know what he was thinking of and I must admit it does sound a bit awkward when put like that.
Blah! Tomorrow it is back to 'real life', holiday is over and I must get back to work. Don't get me wrong, I love me work, but I feel that I have not rested at all, that I need a holiday after this one! *laughs* Maybe it's the weather, rain all day. Or maybe bacause all the things I was supposed to do are still left undone? Whatever the reason, there never is enough time and the first meeting of the Writer's course is just around the corner and all too early for the next chapter is still unwritten. *sigh* I should stop making excuses and write.
Renny-Alexander
25/07/05 Holiday season
And as ye might have noticed, I've been sorta off line for over a month. *sighs* I'm on well earned holiday and most definately out of the reach of me comp.
...And I'm making excuses.
So, Rika came over to Tampere and suddenly I had no time to blog. Too much to do, so I just thought to say that I'm still alive. Not that anyone really cares. *grins*
Uh, I phoned to Ismo right before I left town and said what I thought of his text, a biography of this professor lady. I will not give out her name for I do not know if it is all right. Long story short, for I know ye're not interested of the technical mumbo-jumbo of it. Muahaahaaa...
We had this really romantic date by the water. Really. Truly romantic, I got all wet, of me own free will. We had a swim. And a long talk after that, mostly about writing so, that is how romantic it was.
...Excuse me sarcasm, it is Monday.
Next week Tarja & her son Niko, Rika & I will go on a hike. Just a short one, for Niko is only seven, but it'll be fun. To get off in the woods for the planned three days it'll take. Well, that's the plan, anyways. 'Life surprises you.' We'll go, the weather permitted, that is for the past week it has been rainning every day.
Last Saturday we, Rika, Juk, Lotta, Elisa, Henna and I had BOB + club night in Kemi. That beeing not the point. We all know what the result of such nights. The point, this mentioned Saturday night we had this most beautiful thunder in this summer. For three hours we watched that thunder rise from the sea over the city. Black clouds from one end of the horizon to the other and when it finally reached us, it was flash-flash-flash and crash-crash-crash. First front went over our heads in ten minutes or so with a rain shower and I thought the whole city would drown. After that, we were in the eye of the storm and the flash-crash show went on and on all around us and no rain. Rika, Henna & I were like woaah!
You'd never believe that I was so afraid of thunder as a kid. Now I just love it.
Tomorrow or the day after Rika, mum, the dogs and I will escape to our summerhome for a day or two. I can't remember the last time I've been there so I'm really looking forward to that.
FUnny thing about holiday, I'm supposed to have al the time in the world, but it seems that I'm in a hurry all the time. Whatever happened to relaxation? I have no time for it! *laughs*
Renny-Alexander
06/07/05 July heat
And those of ye in the know, I do not refer to Stephen King & The Stand.
But it is hot, nine in the morning and it is already 25 outside. Not that it has gotten any warmer during the day, no, just five dergrees or so.
One would not evict dust on a day like this unless one absolutely needed to. I needed to. Now I am just glad that I did it. Not only is it nicer in my home, but that sweating lead to another thought. To go for a swim, at long last. And the beach is about a half a mile away and I've never been there before. Embarassing.
I think I will go for an evening swim too.
Sanna's little daughter, Ada, had her third birthday last Saturday. I must confess that I am not very good with kids but this little girl I love, just as long she won't be living with me, that is. Anyway, I had this pink little handbag I'd made long ago and I gave it to her. I just added lining and other bist & pieces and filled the bag with all sorts of hair accesories.
Later that night Sanna and I went for a drink in Amarillo. Well, yes, I know where NOT to venture a pint of Guinness...bad pint. *bleugh!* So, thirsty and ready to murder for a good pint of Guinness I went to O'Connell's, sat at the bar and said to this lad, and I quote: 'I'm dying for a pint of Guinness.' And guess what, me & my infinate (un)fortune, this lad just happens to be native English speaker. I'm fairly certain that he thought I was Irish, for my accent sometimes misleads people. Sometimes I do it on purpose, sometimes not, and what is the most scary of it all, half the time I do not know which language I am speaking, English of Finnish. Back to the point, I, evil me, did not correct him, for I thought it to be a splendid private joke.
Some joke. /sarcasm
Tomorrow Sanna & I will drive the kids, Ada and Leo to Tuuri (?) and have their photos taken. Sort of a family portrait. I said that I'd go along so that Sanna don't have to drive and 'entertain' Leo at the same time. I wonder how that'll work out...
Then two more days of work and then, the much needed summer holiday! I am so in need of a long holiday. It has been four years since I've had a month long holiday. All the previous years I've kept my holiday in two parts, two and two weeks. Not this year, no.
Rika is coming on Saturday! Yay! We will visit shop at Ikea, some things that mum needs and maybe visit the Korkeasaari Zoo or
Linnanmäki amusement park. (do NOT click here if yar speakers are on!)
Before I go to North with Rika, I need to see Ismo, about the text he gave me to read. I said that I'd mail him, but I thought better of it. Better that I meet with him so I can explain my comments on more detail and maybe it will not sound as cruel as it would do if I mailed it. One cannot write tone of voice in an e-mail now, can one? I am well aware of my responsibility as a test-reader, if I am the only on, I do not know, most likely not, but that still does not dimish me burden. Some might take critic lightly, some not and one thing I absolutely do not wish to do is to discourage Ismo in his writing, on the contrary. ...Not making much of sense here again.
Renny-Alexander, turning off because comp just might blow up
28/06/05 Loosing Spending money
I could quote George Harrison, that 'It'll take a whole lot of spending money'. Or something like that. I am refering to another George, Mr. Lucas to be specific. In the last seven days I've bought three Star Wars books: The New Essential Guide to Vehicles & Vessels,
The New Essential Guide to Weapons & Technology &
Episode III: The Visual Dictionary (because I have Ep. I & II) AND subscribed to the HyperSpace ($19.95).
Never ask how old I am, right?
There are other books I need to get on the very plausible excuse that I need to know about the world I'm writing about. Already I've discovered that I've made HUGE mistakes. Like; Why do the Jedi land on the other side of Coruscant while the landing pad at the Temple would serve them better? Now, tell me that. Other slight miscalculation was to give life to YT-1300 when the previous, YT-1200, was never even on a drawingpad.
Ups.
So you might just see why I need them books?
The MidSummer Festival wasn't really a festival for me, I was working Friday through Sunday, getting my head mixed up. Ismo, believe me I now truly know how you felt on your holiday. It is quite unnerving not to know what time of the day is. Is it morning or evening? The only difference, really, is that in the 'night' it is just a thrifle cooler. The white wine bottle I bought to be consumed on Sunday is still in my fridge, unopened.
Anyone willing to share?
So I just came here to say that I am still alive and I ve not yet gone to Coruscant. Or back to year 1985.
This morning I took a quantum leap back, quite unexpectedly, to the year 1985. "Like a bullet, BAM!" (Larry Underwood) Early train and nothing to do but to read the day's paper and on page 30, on Ilta-Sanomat, I find a very familiar face staring at me. Screeeeech! Mac? There I am, staring back at the pic, not really believing my eyes, blik-blinking like a bat in the light of day. Mac it is. Season 1. DVD.
After that, my head's been flooded with all these images, scenes, quotes, everything. The infamous paperclip, that is no good as a car fuse. Ever-so-handy duct tape. The Swiss army knife. A good map that gets you anywhere, in, out, or even up. Jack hanging head down yelling that his head's about to explode (I stole this quote and do use it quite often). Mike in chains down in Di Noto (?), shaking her head, grinning. Pete and his tupè (?) that thankfully got lost quite early in the series. Oh. And let's not forget Murdock who just didn't take the hint and die!
Aw, good times, good laughs. Like I've said earlier, nothing was important, or urgent, enough for me to miss an episode. So not I find meself in that same situation like so many years ago: I must have these DVDs, all of them, all seven seasons. And I will have them. Well, earlier it was, of course, that I must have every episode on VHS-tape and I have almost all of them, still.
I'm thinking in circles now. *grins*
And I promise that I go to get bonkers somewhere else now.
Rika, remodelling my head was not an option for I am such a square. I'm not entirely sure that it is the speaker that's broken, there is a fair chance that the stupid wire is broken but I'll be damned if I take off the dash. Too many moving parts. *grins*
Renny-Alexander, who has to admit that Mac still has a way to mess up her life.
10/06/05 Striping wire
Ach, I bought a car CD-player yesterday, brand new and I thought it would be an easy deal to install the thingy.
I was proven wrong, again.
Today I spend a good three hours playing with the wires & plugs, nearly getting strangled by the miles & miles of wire in Blue Max. Right. I bought these wire strippers/cutters to make the job easier. Yes, Rika, the correct way to strip wire is to pull the 'casing' off with your teeth, but when the wire is inside the dashboard one cannot do such. Right?
The plugs then, they proved to be difficult to handle. Not because they'd be impossible to install, but because of the brute strength, which I have no excessive amounts. One has to crush the end that has the wire and after five or six I was ready to give in and phone to Ismo! No other reason but the fact that men simply are stronger. Another reason might just be that my pliers are not that good to begin with.
Anyway, I got the wires right, front speakers do not work, one is broken. And I did not even blow a single fuse. Go me! But the music sounds a bit funny, and this, I know for a fact, is because of the rear speakers. I put it kindly, they're crap!
*yawn* I better go, before my eyes slam shut. Sitting Sleeping in the sun makes one tired tanned.
Note: Ismo, I think the TG4 is a television station.
Renny-Alexander
07/06/05 B-Cake?
Well, yes, today I could have a slice of birthday cake, only I cannot. *weeps*
To the point:
Happy Birthday Liam!
Since I cannot be there and to be honest, I wouldn't know what to give to you, I think I just settle for that -> 
All day I've been thinking some nice things to write here, but at the moment my head is empty. Can't think of anything but the usual I you, because you've 'given' me so much and because you're one of the few talented actors there are and because of that lovely Irish accent. 
So lame. True, but lame.
Sometimes I hate meself.
I shouldn't've gotten up this morning. Ugh. Monday and week 23. Course of the day can be put in four simple words and I'm afraid I'm quoting me darling Jedi: 'From bad to worse.' No more will I say about this but that while I went for painblockers & vegatables, I stumbled on something that might have been better that I'd not seen at all.
The most annoying thing about the comtemporary films are the mechadising (?) stuff. Eh, right. *looks over her shoulder* Yes. I strongly believe that my 12" Qui-Gon is up to something...
Back to the point, The Batman Begins to be exact. I have developed a habit of walking past the toy shelves just to see what's on them and today I was 'innocently' heading for the exit and what do I see right next to Obi-Wan? Teh Batman and what's-his-name-again and for sure I had to see what other charachters there are available. Should. Not. Have. Done. That. I believe Thursday will be known as Hunt for Henri Ducard -day.
I'm hopeless, I know but blame mr. Neeson for this! O, ye! *points Liam* Lemme alone, ye blue-eyed, husky-voiced Irish heartthrob!
Thank the Force you're still with us! Don't you dare to lose that wonderful accent of yours because if you do, rest assured, I will find you and whack some of it back in your thick skull. *grins* ...We still know I'm not up to that, one smile from mr. Neeson will turn me into a poodle of goo with two blink-blinking eyes.
Must go. Work. *bleugh* To work on such day...I should be with Liam, singing 'Happy birthday' to him...... *grunts* Maybe next year....
Renny-Alexander, ever without the Mao-watch.
02/06/05 wtf?
Just excuse my ignorance but since when were there 34 days in May? Apparently in my calendar there is. Junior Woodchuks slipped, it seems.
The Falcon -project is nearly finished, I've really just waited for the right day to come along to finnish it. (= not raining) It says on the side of the enamel can that 'use in well ventilated spaces' or something like that. Hence, I must have windows & door wide open. Mostly because paint + me + closed space = blinding headahce.
My next project is to 'renovate' my Lundby doll's house, the same I got as a Christmas present some twenty-five years ago! And get this, there are all these small, tiny little accesories, like a coffee maker the size of the tip of my thumb and a even smaller phone (the one with the dial-disk). So, all these bits and pieces are still there, after all this time, they have survived the hands of many children and two moves. Some of the items, like the stereos and TV, were 'liberated' for a better use, but I dug them up, mostly because I knew where to look. Of course, the lighting, lamps & 'bulbs' have vanished long since, I guess I 'liberated' them, too. But I have a feeling where the missing livingroom lamp just might be. *grins*
Now, some ye might remember that me first mentor was Mac Gyver, back in the 80's. What he really taught me to do was to think around the corners. The point here is that along the 'bulbs' I nicked the power adapter too and put it for 'better' use. You do know what happens to copper wire casing when it gets old? It has a bad habit of cracking and once the casing is broken, the copper develops a greenish coating and sooner, rather than later, the wire snaps. Because I needed that adapter and dad was off working I was left with no choice but to 'repair' the adapter wireing meself. I certainly couldn't open the adapter, which was very lucky, for I think I'd've done some real damage to it. Instead, I cut the other wire too leaving mere half an inch of copper exposed outside the casing I couldn't get into. So, I twisted the end away from one another and slipped the ends of the extension between the hard casing and the short ends. Slap some duct tape on it, turn the extension to run against the casing, secure that, in place, with another sort of addhesive tape and voilà! It works, but it is not very safe! Believe me, if dad'd known about that at the time, I'd not be here.
Back to the real point, I checked that wireing day before yesterday and I dare not use it, too much green on the wires and certainly too much duct tape glue all over the adapter! So, I phoned to dad and asked if he could open it and fix it, for he's done it before, to another adapter. He says yes but it'll have to wait untill September, he's on summer holiday untill then! Well, I'm not in hurry with this project and I can always 'borrow' the other adapter...
About this 'thinking aournd the corners', all the credit cannot be given to Mac, no. It is in my blood, dad does that too and I think he taught me the very first lessons in this. He certainly taught me that if it is broken, see if you can fix it. If you cannot, take all the might be useful later and dispose the rest. As a result you get cans filled with screws, bolts & stuff. And if you can fix it, do it. I cannot remember how many times dad fixed (=glued) our toys, some more often than others. Me dad could fix anything! But it did not stop there, oh no. At that time we lived in an apartment building and pretty soon the kids in that building were bringing their broken toys to me dad to be fixed. Now I find meself in situations very similar to that, looking at something that's broken and thinking how to fix it. Ye won't believe how many times I've been asked how do I know what to do. There is no simple answer, I just do. Sometimes me fixing will hold for some time, often it does not at all.
Make no mistake, I am not bragging about my ability, this is that way I was built.
Here's a piece of Finish 'intelligence': There is this paperindustry -strike/hold-off of work -thingy that means no paper of any sort is manufactured. This's been on for the past forthnight or about so. Pick any grocery store that sells tissues of all sorts (from toilet paper to stationary) and you will come across a sign, particulary in the section where toilet paper is stocked, that says: 'Due to the paperindustry srtike/hold-off we are temporarily out of all tissues. We apologise the invonvenience.'
Here's what happened: The day it was certain that there might be a strike, people rushed in the stores to stock up their supplies of tissues of all sorts. This because there is no knowing how long this strike/hold-off will last and I can understand this, one has got to be prepared. But do ye REALLY think the shop keepers will NOT think of a way to import tissues if need be? Do ye think that export companies abroad have not yet seen the opportunity? Get this, once the disagreeing parties run out of their supply of toilet paper, an agreement is bound to be found! Think about it.
Renny-Alexander.
34/05/05 Wa Shing Ka
Or in plain English: Washing Car
A while back, when I was studying at Oxford Brookes, there was this one printed out mail lying on a table and nosy me, I had to take a look at it. The title said: Learn to speak Chinese in 5 minutes. I pocketed this print.
Blue Max got a wash, and I can assure ye, it was filthy! I am not entirely satisfied yet, I need to wash it again but the purpose of this was to get Blue Max rid of the worst grime and dirt so I could inspect just how much scratching of rust it'd need. A lot. And more paint. Dear Blue Max is dotted with these fly-shite size spots, all over. *sighs* Well, there is a lot of summer left.
Remember, I said this.
I did thought that I'd phone Ismo and ask if he wants to help, but I thought better of it. I mean, evil me, I'd've 'acidentally' thrown a bucketful of water on him, which is the whole idea of washing a car, to get wet, either intentionally or not. Same with carpets. (yes, we Finns are a bit mad)
That's another thing, how can someone wash a car and NOT get soaked? It's something like cracking eggs with one hand, some can do it, some don't. Furthermore, if there are more than one person washing the car, it is almost an unwritten law that someone has to get wet and not get grumpy about it. Chase is perfectly acceptable.
I have to remember this too.
Figures! I just washed Blue Max and now it is raining!!!!!! 
MostunFair. Well, good that I did not plan to do 'wax on, wax off' and excercise the muscles in me arms.
There are few things in this world that will definately give me a blinding headache. Caffeine deprivation is one, another is paint. Aaaaaarrrgh!!!
I finally got meself do as much as to go and get some white scale model paint, enamel, to be exact, or that's what reads on the side of it. For two reasons, for Blue Max as underpaint and for Millenuim Falcon. I've had this scale model Falcon for just about forever, but the reason I've not hung it up is because it lacks the final touch, i.e. bit of white here & there and rust. Now I have no excuses, just stedy paintjob, as long as me head will take it before it'll split in two or three. *bleugh*
'Accept the pain. Be friends with it.' I say balls to that Jedi wisdom. It works with every other pain but not with this. Balls! *is sick* I seriously believe that I must carry Falcon outside, open door & window seem not to be enough...
Other Mild Annoyance: the fighters flying over my house. Some NATO-thingywatsit. Leave me alone! Go harras someone else! Bastards! *takes out a pocket-bazooka* Seriously, enough is enough, there are other places to fly over too! Shooo, get away!
Oh, I guess I should take up my writing again. The next meeting for the Writer's course is on the 18th of June and my Chapter 5 is all too long. They will skin me alive and hang my hide if I offer them all of the 18 pages I've written. Besides, there are four names I must look up before I can send the chapter, but I am too lazy to reach four feet to my bookshelf and take out the books where the names are. *sighs* Nope, I must look up the names anyway, the story will not move on if I don't.
My mailbox is still empty, I'd thought that I'd gotten some mail from a Certain Someone, who also writes, but no! *sighs* I did not give you the addy just for the writing stuff, I gave it to you for other mail as well, no matter how stupid. andofcoursesotheidyouremailaddy. yougreeneyeddevilforaman *grunts*
Eh, right. Hello! *grins nerfishly* I better shut up before I write something irreversable.
Renny-Alexander.
23/05/05 Summer in the city
..Or so it seems. How long it will last, remains to be seen.
Been off to work since the 20th. Aye, I did go to seen Ep III on the opening night, literally, three past midnight.
So, on the said day, the 18th, I drove all the way to Helsinki, to see the film and see Satu and have a dinner with Tatu. And when I am nearly in Helsinki, I realise that blast, I left my driving licence home. No harm, I did not get picked up, 'tho I was speeding.
Anyway, Tatu and I had nice, long dinner. Thank you, luv, I had great time. He got me talking about Irleand and Liam, mostly. And he walked me to the cinema, too. Nice. I was only too sorry he could not come and see the film with me, but we made a date for July and The Batman Begins. Tatu said he wants to go to the American Diner here and after that, the Bat film. Well, I told him to be hungry... Can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees the burger, it'll be priceless.
Yes, it was as I expected it to be, the Ep III. Loads of tears, suffering, and everybody got killed, or nearly. I had even put the events in the correct order based on what I'd seen on trailers. Only one thing I was wondering of, what is the final catch? Qui-Gon! o, my love. And yes, it felt like I'd been hit by a freight train, full speed. Bam! Knocked flat. Right, all I could think of was 'be still my pounding heart' and go for something to dry my eyes on. So much for the final catch, I did not think it would be that, but it worked. Thank you George 'Godfather' Lucas.
Loved the film, 'tho from time to time the dialoque was, well, down right crap. Must see it again.
So, from now on it is business as usual, dust-Wookie eviction was happening today. *sighs* I really should exercise this hobby more often, once a month is too rare. Tomorrow I think I will, finally, give Blue Max the badly needed wash.
I believe I go back to lurk mode, still some things to do.
Renny-Alexander.
16/05/05 O why, why, why!!!
All right, this is going to sound very, or dare I say, extremely stupid.
I just got back from Potter-swapping, so to say. I returned the ones that I was 'holding hostages' and got two more in return. Ismo had the nerve to ask if I wanted to read these two I now have. The only answer to this question, obviously, is: what do you think? Of course I want to read them! I was supposed to do a whole lot more than just sit in the cafe and chat about literature & writing, but I never got to do them.
This is why:
I was told exactly just how old he is and I must confess that I could hear the gearbox in my head screeching. Wonder if it showed on my face... I think not, and being such an arse in math, I had to whip out my calculator (in my car, alone) and do some subtraction.
Although this is nothing unexpected in my life and I cannot say that I was not prepared for it. Oh, I knew that he is at least ten years older than I am, more like fifteen. Yes. Right. *headdesk* Seventeen, people!
O, I know, don't tell me, it does not matter, because it really does not. Seriously, no. As I said earlier, I feel like I am no older than 25, mentally, sometimes I feel like a teenager. 'Hi, I'm Renny and I'm thirteen!' /sarcasm
I do have to remind meself, from time to time, that I will be 31 this August! You would not believe that, at least when it comes to birthday presents... Last year I got Aragorn & Eomer figures... And we are not even discussing the 12" Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan on my bed side table, nor about the bunch of other charachters standing on the kitchen windowsill.
Now, I gave him my e-mail addy and in my infinite wisdom I just had to tell that the end (super-green.org) stands for my homepage. *headdesk*
So, hi Ismo! *grins*
Rika, hand me the shovel, please. *digs a hole to hide in*
Thank the Force, tomorrow I'm working and I will not open me comp until...Well, later!
Renny-Alexander.
15/05/05 Four more days...
Just my usual luck, a film I want to see and I come down with a flu. Gee, thanks a whole lot. *jumps in frustration & blows nose* Dat waz worth id.
flashback
I wrote a letter to a friend while suffering of a flu, all the s's were z's and t's d's and so on. Anyway, the way it looked was closer to hungarian (?) than finnish.
/flashback
Oh, I have a date with Tatu! On the 18th, before the ep. III. Well, I told him that no fancy restaurant with a dress code for I am wearing my Jedi tunic and all. He looked at me and said yes but I wonder... Just dinner, tho' I said to him, quoting Arlene (?), Larry Underwood's girl in Los Angeles: Dinner, dancing and all the paparazzies I can smile at.
Aye right. I suppose I should phone to Ismo and say that Hi, I've finished the Potters and I could return them, but I am too sick for social involment right now. No, Rika, the Potter's are not hostages, they just make sure that I will see Ismo again, at least once. *laughs*
This morning I was watching the Making of Kindom of Heaven.... Liam! Mr. Neeson, kindly shut up about sunsets and turrets! One look and few, well chosen words and you got me. Pulled the rug right under my feet, thank you very much. Oh, good that you've grown yar hair back, I think. Anyway, short hair does NOT become ye, me lad. Ugh, nono.
I think I do and see how much financial suffering I would take by booking a flight to Ireland in July. I need to go to Ballymena and doze off in the People's Park with a bottle of good Irish whisey in my hand. And get picked up by the police. Right. Seriously, I need to get away from Finland, at least for a while.
Remember, I said that there are four types of men in my life? Well, the catch with Ismo, because there has got to be one is that I have a really BAD feeling about it but it is none with the reasons I listed earlier. It has somethting to do with numbers, I'm sure.
Renny-Alexander.
08/05/05 Ten days and counting...
Eeeeew...Cold coffee. There is a saying that cold coffee makes you beautiful but it sure tastes terrible. So, thank you, I think I am pretty enough.
Day before yesterday I heard that I look young, just a little over 20. *gasps* Add another ten and then you might be close. Well, I guess it is better to look younger than your years but sometimes it can be frustrating, not to mention it just might cause terrbile misunderstanding. Yes, I am refering to Ismo, who, I think, have no idea how old I am. *shakes head* I definately have to approach this subject.
uh, Kingdom of Heaven. It was bad, bad and bad. Pure & simple. It had all the elemenst of beeing a good film, but somehow they f:d it up. Liam was great, of course, and quite as I excpected, Orlando was, well, awful. Just shut up and look good and under no circumstances DO NOT open your mouth, please.
One thing that almost made me scream out of frustration were the immense stupidity of the defenders of Jerusalem. There they are, in the mids of a desert with NO water to waste and when the city is bombarded with fire (arrows & bombs) what do the defenders do? Pour WATER on fire! And there is like tons of SAND in the city. Idiots! Arses! *kicks them defenders around the city*... Hmmm, I guess that was not in the script. The sand, I mean.
*holds out a hand to Liam* Postcard, luv, please? I did it to support you. *blinks*
The Batman Begins -trailer.
I must see that film, no is not an option. It's teh voice!
Also The Ep III -triler. Crap! I have a bad feeling that I will need to bring a bedsheet with me to the cinema. It's like The Return of the King or something like it, I think. In the terms that there will not be another episode coming out. This is it, end of the journey. Although I happened to come by a site that claimed that the pics on that said site were form the upcoming Episode VII. Makes one wonder, but it is just a rumour. And even if it turns out to be true, it is not the same, it never will be. My 'place' is in the Old Republic, not in the New one.
Uh, the date then, with Ismo. Well, I wake up and take shower and then I get a SMS from him that says the film starts at half two and let's meet an hour before. (note, he works at nights!) Jeuzuz!! This is about eleven. Quick calculating and I am left with two and half hours. My hair's dripping and I have no idea what to wear. Just great. So, I SMS to him that I might be a bit late. Turns out that he was wondering where do I live. Anyway, the date was fine, the film crap. And the date ended just the way I and Mirva had expected:
'I had fun.'
'So did I.'
*silence*
'Well, I must go.'
'I do too.'
*another silence*
'let's call.'
'aye, let's do.'
And in the end neither calls.
Funny thing is that I actually believe he'll call. I do have his Harry Potter's! Three of them! *laughs* And I promised that I'd return them before I go on holiday in July.
I relly must go, though there are a couple of things to say, but trains do not wait for me. Later, lads.
I miss you too, Rika!
Renny-Alexander.
01/05/05 Labour Day
The Drink Festival is over and I am fine, I was working last night, so, no boozing for me.
I know, I haven't been bloggin for, what, two weeks now? So sorry. I am still alive, I've just been busy. (read: working)
Anyways, a week ago, a special night train to Tornio, sometimes refered as Scum City by me darling sys Rika. The war children had some sort of gathering there. Well, they are no children anymore, but they were back then, some 60 years ago, at the time of WW2. So, I thought that I'll have nice, quiet night on that train. I never expected them to stay up until midnight drinking the night away. And guess what, at half four in the morning first few of them drag their bones in the restaurant car for a bloody cup of coffee! There I am thinking that 'don't you people ever sleep?' Apparently no. So much for the quiet night train!
Don't get me wrong, they were absolutely wonderful people! I've never had so much fun on night train.
One thing I found amusing. They stay up all night, or sleep just two-three hours and then they wonder how I can stay up all night and give them good service, especially because I am all alone. Well, it's just the way things are done on night trains and I'm quite used to it.
On the way back from Tornio, in the morning, Helsinki came non too soon! The coffee maker could not brew fast enough and I was mentally ripping my hair off. Just when I get the fresh pot of coffee and the next on the way, three minutes later that pot is empty and then people must wait for about five minutes. This goes on from Tampere to Riihimäki, about one and half hours, with all the stops & delays.
Two and hald days off in Scum City.
That time was well spent, with mum & the dogs, seeing a couple of friends and of course I had to pay a visit to the best record dealer and support his business with the price of two CD's. I've been kinda stuck with my writing but at mum's I just sat at the comp and wrote the whole part, just like that. No distractions, no blocks, nothing, the words just seemed to flow on the screen as I thought them. I don't know what happened, the story came so easily. Must be that I've had time to think this part through. All it needs is a serious editing.
Thrusday morning, or afternoon, actually, then. I come home beat and ready to fall on my bed and sleep, but I am so hungry that I could eat a horse, or two and there is absolutely nothing to eat so, off to shopping. Simple things, coldsmoked salmon, ryebread and cheese. I take Blue Max, drive to Prisma, that is just one mile away, but I am too tired to wait for the bus. After I've done my shoppings, I sit in my car, take out my mobile, stare at it a while and phone to Ismo. Simple thing to do, but for a shy one like I am, a great ordeal, at least for the first time. And of course he don't answer and I am obliged to leave a message.
Did I mention that I hate voicemail?
So, this Wednesday is the opening night for Kingdom of Heaven and since Ismo said that he, too, likes Liam I thought that this film will give just the perfect excuse for a date of sort.
Ten minutes later I am home, barely and Ismo phones back like what film and sure he's interested to see it too. So, Wednesday it is, film-date. He says that if I won't be able to get tickets, we could go for a cup of coffee or something. What? No tickets for a Liam-film on the opening night for me? That'll be the day! Note, I have them. And I cannot wait to see the film!! Oh, Liam & teh voice!
About these ten minutes and I am certain about the length of time because I checked the call register on my mobile! I was certain the I'd never hear of Ismo again, not before autumn at least and I thought that this film-date thingy would not just prove to be efective enough, or at the very least I'd have to wait a day or two before he'd phone back, or something along that line. But no! I was proven wrong, like so many times before, time and again. But ten minutes! All I could think of was 'That was quick.
Go figure, me and the men in my life... Just unusual, that's it.
So now I am suffering the female dilemma of closet full of clothes but nothing to wear syndroma. Just perfect! *laughs* Oh, I'll think of something to wear, eventually.
Renny-Alexander.
19/04/05 All kinds of racing...
"Put twelve guys carrying sticks in a closed area and sooner or later men will be boys." Mac Gyver, about hockey. I could say that give men trains and pretty soon they'll be racing. True, Saturday morning I witnessed this. Two trains leaving at the same time and it was a race. Note, there are two sets of tracks, one for southbound trafic and the other for northbound trafic. At least that's the assumption. Nice way to start a day.
Then a note about Friday & Ismo. I feel like size eleven horse's arse! I am quite certain that the impression I have given to him is false. I'm sure that he thinks that I am a hysterical giggler and a hopeless blond. Another thing, I am explaining meself here, I think. Long story short, I'm in a hurry to catch a train, so I ask if I could give him my phonenumber and that it'd be nice to see him sometime in the summer. He says sure and I scribble it on a piece of paper. Then I get his number, fine, but that kinda destroyed my fine plan. Then I had the ever so brilliant idea to mumble that I do have one day off next week but I don't remember which it is and he says that there's plenty of summer left. Well, of course there is! I did not mention my day off because I want to meet him that day, no! I only said it because that's the day when I am most likely to be able to pick up my phone and be in the service area...mobile phones! And I did not take the ten seconds to explain this because it would've been like digging a hole for meself from that point on. And since I once dated an answering machine I kinda got to dislike them a lot and thus I do not have voice mail, so me + customer service + train + not answering = wrong impression, again! *sigh* I guess that it has to be me who phones him. But not yet! It would be so much easier if I'd given him my homepage addy so then I might even hope that he'd come across this entry, but no! Sometimes I am so stupid...
Thomas teh Dutch + Temple Bar Pub = no phonemumber. *frustration attack*
Oh, I got no Harry Potter, for there is a new book coming out soon-ish and he wants to read the old ones before the new comes out. I can relate to that, Revenge of the Sith and I am desperate to read all books before May 19th.
Ooooooooo I saw Tatu again, on Saturday evening. Had to rush on train to give him a hug. He'd had his hair cut! Tatu said that he'd had it done right after that cup of coffee Tuesday morning! I have a bad influence on people....
I think I go and be me usual insane self in someplace else. O_o
Renny-Alexander.
13/04/05 Fragile
I am falling apart, literally, not in the mental sense, no, uh-huh. One of those days again when where it normally pulls, it now pushes and vice versa. No, painblockers do not work at this state, I dare not take one before I am certain that I can hold it. It is no use to take them if five minutes later I am puking my guts out, eh?
Must make some coffee, my head is just about to explode...
I don't know what this is, Will of the Force most likely, but on Sunday when I walked in the office in Ilmala to collect keys & stuff for the Kolari train who do I see? Tatu! And he's off to Kemijärvi. So, on Tuesday morning I tidy up my restaurant so that I can hop off at station and have a chat with Tatu on his train. Well, yes, two with twisted sense of humour, being tired and both a bit sarcastic...yes, it can only lead to hysterical laugh. Stupid jokes. There was another reason for me to ditch my train at station, it takes infuriating long for that train to be taken to Ilmala and the one fron Kemijärvi gets there much faster. So, Tatu and I are walking & smoking and I'm telling him this and then I add that 'well, this wasn't so fast either, it's quarter past one in the afternoon.' So Tatu looks up at the clock and says 'uh-huh' and two seconds later he totally cracks up. This said clock does not run, at all, it has stopped at the said time and it actually was nine-ish in the morning.
After much fuss at the office, mostly because I am tired and get lost in my mind for it will not work properly, we get to go for a cup of coffee. And give the impression that we are on a leave from the local laughing academy. Have no fear people, we're just tired. There is one thing that is beyond us, Tatu pointed this out, that whether one takes a shower at the other end of the night train, (Kolari or Kemijärvi) or not, there seem to be indecent amount of grime and dirt on one and not to mention that one thinks that one stinks like a small zoo.
Beats me why it is so.
This morning I decided that it is time for me to evict the dust-Wookies. Seriously, there were no longer just dogs, but Wookies and I believe that I found a dust-Ewok village as well. I could be wrong. It happens. Also the kitchen sink... *shivers* I believe that there was the beginnings of an Rylothian (?) fungus farm but I seriously doubt that even the Twi'leks would find that fungus edible.
One less excuse reason not to get down to the real business of writing. *grins*
I feel I must apologise the terminology here, I had to dig in some details and I'm afraid that the terms kinda got stuck on me. Here lies the danger of getting into something, at least for me, that I dig in too deep. But, fortunately, it does not last long, or it has never before. My only defense is that I am built this way, and I've been a Star Wars fan ever since I was the height of household beer bottle, sometimes the fandom was more apparent, other times hidden. I don't think anyone ever noticed but when the Original Trilogy came out, the THX-ed versions, and certainly after that I was nost often seen in black jeans, white tee and black jacket which should've been a vest but because I did not have one, I had to settle for the jacket. The lads, my ex and his friends, Tommi included, had tons of PC games which I played tried as well and oftentimes my 'name' would be Bria Tharen. So, those of ye who think that my fandom is new, well, you're so wrong! I just discovered the Jedi in me 'recently' and I am home, this is what I am. /geek
Right, my head still hurts. Better go and lie down for a while.
Tatu, I you!!!! So sad you have to leave me all alone. *weeps*
Renny-Alexander.
09/04/05 'King Laugh'
Sleep deprivation has no end. Unbelievable, I grew up in the North of Finland where the Sun do not set in summer and now, only after seven years I find it nearly impossible to sleep long in the mornings because it is too bright! It's not fair! 
Raija phoned me the other day, my dear old friend. She just wanted to know if I was still alive. Yes, I am, very much. I guess that tells something about how much I keep in touch with my friends. Apart from those who do not have a Net connection and who no not hang on MsnMessenger. So sorry, I apogise to all of ye with whom I have not been in contact with lately, except to Tommi who promised to mail me more than once a month. I am still waiting.
Oooooo....Tatu! I hope you got my regards, I miss you so very much! I'd love to see you before you leave.
The word for Friday was uncontrollable giggles. Uh, that's two words, so? Granted, I was tired, but that really does not explain why the idiom 'more holes than in Swiss cheese' suddenly gave me the uncontrollable giggles. And oh, yes, Teh Tormentor of Teh Week AKA Ismo was giving me the O_o. Crap! Making a spectacle of meself, I guess. Well, somehow we ended up talking about Harry Potter and I said that I'd like to read the books, in English but that I haven't yet found them in the library. In all honesty, I haven't exactly been looking for them. So, Ismo says that he has them and he could give them to me to read. So, I am like yes, that would be nice but at the same time I am like Teh Fudge? Harry Potter & Ismo? *looks over her shoulder* Uh, yes, the Jedi Apprentice -series...
Butthat'sdifferentfortheyaremysourcematerial.
Speaking of which, today was the last meeting of the writer's course. It looks like my sorry excuse for a story is actually going somewhere and people like it too. Loads of questions, some of them the sort I did not want to give an answer to, yet. It would spoil the story. I use a lot of flashbacks in the story, this part had three of them and in random order. Very bad. I was well aware of them being in the wrong place and certainly they were badly written, the whole part was not thoroughly edited. Very unlike me. I wanted to know how, if at all, a change from first person view to third person view within a part would work. It don't, not a good idea. Better to make a whole new part/chapter. Also, I realised that there are some finer points that I have to explain more in detail and simply get rid of all the flashbacks for they seriously confuse the flow of the story, at least here. Ugh, a lot of re-writing. Lucky me, I have a night-train tomorrow, to Kolari. Aye, I have time to think new twists and turns to my story. I know there will be sidenotes up to 20 and on a separate sheet of paper there will be a couple of lines that are to replace the 'original'. One of my methods of working.
I have been having some big promlems with the Photo 7, it is whining something about Scratch files or like and I know that one solution is to partition the hard disk but I am a bit unwilling to do so. I thougt that I could buy another hard drive but then I had the immensly brilliant idea of taking the hard disk from my old comp and hook it in the new one. Well, as it is in many cases, I think this will be a whole lot easier to say than to actually perform. And with my luck...yes, I wouldn't keep my hopes very high up. *laughs*
Oh, I almost forgot, I got a new Liam -dvd! The Ruby Cairo!!! I know, I know, might not be the best of films but Liam! Yes, I'm so hopeless when it comes to this blue-eyed Irish heartthrob. I turn into a poodle of goo, instantly. I've been thinking that if I ever got so lucky and met him, I propably would not even know how to say 'hello' to him, let alone something more intelligent. I'd be such a huge horse's arse that I'd never forgive meself. *laughs*
*sighs* I guess I must go and pack for the night train. Rika, I'll phone you about my sunglasses before the train leaves Kolari! If not earlier...
Renny-Alexander.
02/04/05 Tired & baffled
I so needed sleep today, still do. It is Saturday evening and I cannot rememeber when was the last time I had a good night's sleep. The office phoned exactly at 09.22 (checkad that on my phone) on Thursday morning and woke me up. Since then I've slept thirteen hours and a wee bit. This in the last 60 hours, two and half days. Chew on that. I don't presume I have any difficulties to fall asleep when I crawl back in. Nope, none whatsoever. *laughs* I still have a bit of good Irish Wiskey left...
So, this morning, going to Turku there is this man on the train that scared the crap out of me. No, not violent, nor crazy but just dangerous in a quiet way. Story is that someone he knew was murdered a couple of days ago and now the police wanted to talk to him, ask some routine questions and that's where he was going. All right, nothing unnerving in that. Then this man says to me that he left his piece at home and that he has enough money to buy another in Turku. O_O He did not exactly say it, but I got the impression that he was going after the murderer. And I know I'm not imagining this because the conductor also thought so.
There I am, all alone, no pepperspray or any weapon whatsoever with which to defend my self. That's what really scares me. So, it is not soon enough that I start Kendo. Nope, none too soon. So, this particular train is normally quiet and no disturbances, but there was a time when I did a lot of the night trains and on those I most often had a knife close at hand. It may not be enough, but the threat sometimes is enough. So, today I fetched a knife too, just in case. I do not trust people, at all, least of all those who have murder in their mind.
*shivers* And I am not one to be scared easily....*hugs Qui-Gon* Am I glad to have my darling guardian angel with me!
That's the being tired -part, now for the baffled -part.
I'm on this Let's talk in English -conversation class, just to keep my spoken English at some decent level, so that I don't lose my Irish accent for which I worked so hard to get. *laughs* Not much left now, I'm afraid. Anyway, I spoke about this gray-green eyed devil who I was going to ask for a cup of coffee. So, there I am, sitting in the classroom and I'm more than convinced that he is not going to show up this time. Don't ask how many times that has happened before! In the sense that today-I'm-going-to-do-it and then it cannot be done because the other one don't show up. But no, this time I got lucky.
So, at the end of the lesson, that was all laugh, sarcasm and talk about everything else but the given topic which was insurances. O_o Well, he started it! It's not my fault that he wanted to know if I was doing my homework when it was the scribblings for the fifth part of my FacFic. And that led us to talk about Star Wars, in general and then to philosophy, teosophy (?) and whateversophy in general. *laughs* Oh, Im' so convinced that Mike was giving us an eyeball or two and thinkning that there has got to be something going on with us two, particulary when I did not stay behind and ask about some stupid grammar point, which is what I oftentimes do.
You would not believe what an ordeal it is for a shy person to ask someone for a cup of coffee! So, there I am all fidgety and my mind blank of how to put my words and the ONLY thing I come up with is this: 'I think I'll go and gulp down a cup of coffee.' You do know how utterly idiotic that sounds? I could kick myself for being such a horse's arse! Well, no harm done, it turns out to be. He says, pointing at the general direction of the railway station, that he's going that way and if I did not mind, he'd like to come along. Eh? Mind? Me? No. So, in fact it is he who asks me for a cup of coffee. How did this happen is beyond me.
Briefly, what we talked about was more Star Wars, the -sophy conversation continued, about writing and what else I don't remember. Couple of points.
Again I was impressed by the width of his knowledge, he said that he knows little bit about everything. Not bad at all, I am like that too.
I knew that he was older than me, but yesterday I learned that he is at least ten years older than I am. Maybe more. *sighs* But as I said earlier, I think, I need a man, not a juvenile boy. So, why am I a bit touchy about this age-business? Strange...
One last thing, his voice. li3k!!omg!!!11 Very much like Liam's, with the exeption that he does not have that wonderful Irish accent that absolutely makes me fall everytime I hear it....Liam + accent = me faint. Teh Point. Onward then.
I admit, I am quite infatuated but it is way too soon to say anything certain.
Oh, he did tell me his name. Ismo. That's his name.
It's late and I'm hungry. Thus must go. ...Oh, crap! Every day on this week I had reminded myself to buy dish soap (?) but so far I haven't done that. Right. I'm running out of plates, not to mention pots & pans. *sighs* Noodles or porridge? Dilemma of the day. *grins*
Renny-Alexander.
31/03/05 Pleading to temporary insanity
Aye, I'm getting my head straight again. Nope, I did not lose my sanity, not all of it, maybe for a day or two, but all's well now.
... I am so not making any sense, I see. *laughs*
Anyway, first of April tomorrow. *sighs* And your truly can be fooled with small things and will end up being the laugh of others. Oh, just great. I'am so not looking forward of tomorrow....
Wait! There is something I am going to do. Something I haven't done for a year or so. Prepare for the real surprise...Drums, please. I am going to ask someone for a cup of coffee! A certain someone who is intellectually at my level and one that isn't that bad looking either, on the contrary. Nope, he isn't TehPretteh in the teenage style, I'm past all that, I need a man who looks like a man, not a boy.
*scrathces head* Now, that is not making much sense either.
Whatever, gray-green eyes & dark hair & tall and I have absolutely no idea what's his name! No ring on his finger but with my luck he's either married or just non-negotiably gay.
There are four types of lads in my life:
1. They do not fancy me.
2. They have a girlfriend/wife.
3. They're gay.
or
4. All the above
And if for some mysterious reason none of those apply, I find them more or less repulsive.
*screams* I did not choose this life! It was given to me!
Analyzing my madness, there is one other thing I did not take into account, my story. I was clever enough to write myself in the corner and now there is only way out of the corner, a trapdoor. And in order to make that trapdoor, I am required to read about 2000 pages of 'official' story. That in turn creates a heap of other problems in my story for I want to be as true to the official story as I posssibly can. *sighs* No-one said it would be easy, but I am finding my way out of that said corner, I know where the story is going and how to get there but the details are still a bit blurred. Bringing back dead people is so much fun! /sarcasm.
No seriously, in the official story, there is a loophole, a backdoor, a back-up plan and it is exactly what I must use. It is not my creation, but it is written in the charachter I am going to bring back to life. I do not know if the author intented to do it as well, but it will serve my porpose and that's the end of it. Oh, it's fan-fic I'm writing and I'm not making any money with it and blah blah, the usual.
I go now, enough of this and I am hugry.
Renny-Alexander.
27/03/05 Heartbroken & drained of all feelings
O ye wise out there, can any of you tell me how to mend a broken heart? For I do not know. The cure for all things (chocolate) will not help. *sighs* Time will not do so either, love is no help at all and tenderness, well, it just makes matters worse. Or did.
Last night..The Phantom Menace... O_o I am not going to pretend that I did not love to see the film again, but it was, say, destructive. And it was over all too soon.
I so don't know what to say for I know it will sound crazy, but if there is anything I've learned it is that sometimes the craziest thing ever just is true. No matter how difficult it is to believe in it.
So, once again, almost at the end, that scene which I will not refer any better for it just is too painfull, it is I who feel the pain, like it is me there. Never before has it felt this strong, or this bad for that matter. I was expecting that scene, yes, after fifteen times it is still the same, why should it have changed for this time? No reason. But the pain was very real, as are the tears a bit later. So far all goes as before, stronger feelings but still the same. What happens while the end credits are shown is quite unusual. So, there I am, crying my heart out, not to mention my eyes, feeling drained, abandoned and most of all, lost. Just as I've reached the bottom, what happens it that I feel two strong arms around me, holding me tight and a voice in my head says that I should not cry, that all is well. That's my darling Qui-Gon.
I'm not making this up!
I know exactly how utterly crazy that sounds but he's been my guardian angel for since I was twelve years old, still is and will be untill the end of my days. He once told me a thing that would come to pass three years later, he told me this before the chain of events ever started. I could tell what other things he has told/shown me, but those would need a very long explaining.
I don't know what's happening to me, am I losing my sense of relativity (?), or am I just becoming a Jedi as I've always wanted to become? I don't know. *sigh* Go figure. Oh, I've been a Star Wars fan since I was as tall as a household beer bottle, but that don't explain it all, it don't explain the carpets in the corners or things that mysteriously move from one place to another, nor does it explain the rash on my neck that is where it was not the night before, a rash that dubiously look like the markings of facial hair. This I know for fact for I once had a boyfriend who looked one hair short of a monkey if he did not shave in the morning.
Whatever, if you believe that, fine, and if you thing I've gone mad, that's fine too. I'm not making any excuses, all I can say is that I did not choose this life, it was given to me. Too many things have happened to me so that I could just shrug all of this off as coinsidence and imagination. As far as I know, and I am one to question everything, neither can cause physical marks, right? Or one to know the future, three years in advance?
Ponder that over in the dark, long and cold hours of the night.
I'm off to watch Beck
So, I'm not doing that night train. The office thought, as I did, that I'll be sick for the next couple of days, but it appears that I am not. Nothing wrong with me. The content of my head maybe, but that's quite normal. So, instead of me doing it, they already got someone else to cover my absense. Nice. Of course now I am available for the weekend. Wrong! 'I have a plan' /Jack Dalton. Or rather, I have something to do, something I have not done for I don't know how long and a thing I thought I could not do but in a certain state of mind (whatever that would be I don't know)
It's a Saturday night film -time and it might just be that it is the film I love the most. It is by no means the best directed, nor does it have superior plot or anything, but I love that film to tiny pieces, thoug the end it will break my heart and I just want to die. Aye, people, it is The Phantom Menace and come hell, high water, hail storm or the Queen of England, I will watch that film.
This makes me wonder, why did I get sick just now? Oh, I know and it has been proven many times that I can see things before they happen, nothing new. But it does rise suspicion of my very conveniently timed sickness, eh? Will of the Force? God's plan? Or just pure coinsidence? I can rule the coinsidence out, because nothing happens by accident. And since I do not believe in God, that then leaves the will of the Force.
Anyhoo, everytime I saw that film in cinema, I was crying at the end, I'm not ashamed to admit that. Also, I had to wait through the end credits before I was certain that my legs would carry me home for there always was the danger that I'd've collapsed on the street and that is unacceptable for a Jedi Padawan. Now I'm thinking what will happen. Is it that same old song again or not? After fifteen times you'd think one would not get a broken heart because one knows what will come to pass, but it is two different things to know something intellectually and then see it happen. Maybe it is even worse after the first time because one knows that what will come to pass will do so, no matter what.
Ach! I don't know and I am weary of this philosophical (?) crap I just wrote, but I'll let it be there.
As much I dislike the end, I much need to 'see' and 'hear' my darling Jedi Master again. *sighs* Oh. My. I Qui-Gon. Madly.
/geek.
Lately I have been wondering is there something wrong with me because people are staring at me. It's the same where ever I go, whatever I'm wearing. Most annoying. There are times when I'd so much like to whack some sense in their heads like whereareyourbloodymanners!?!?!?!?! and other times I just want to whack their heads off. I am enough 'on public eye' because of my work but on my time off I just want to my usual self, be the next man, so to speak. But I am not given that chance. *sighs*
Curse of publicity.
I think I better go and cook.
Oh, something I forgot, about yesterday, Mac Gyver had his birthday yesterday and he would be...*whips out a calculator*...fourty-nine. *gasp*
Renny-Alexander.
23/03/05 Sick-ish
I'm still alive, barely. I lost half of my voice Sunday and ever since I've been croaking and working. I just thought that it'd come back. Apparetly it did not. My Jedi training might help, but I just don't want to get well, not just yet. I am too tired, too tired to fight this flu that has been trying to get the best of me for the past three weeks. Blah!
So, last night I decided that all right, this is it! No more. I go and see a doctor though I much don't like them. I don't like to whine about insignificant things like a flu but what can one do? One day, that's all I got! Argh! I know that my voice will not come back in just one day and besides, my head is just about to implode. ugh! Not to mention that the cold/hot 'treatment' on a night train will make me any better. Uh-oh, no way. I rather cancel that than take another, more serious illness, thank you very much. Tomorrow I see a doctor, again. To get more sickleave. Just great.
/whine.
I guess what really infuriates me is that I'm hardly ever sick, I hate being sick and I do everything I possibly can to fight back but sometimes it just don't work. When sick, there are so many things you can do, watch telly or read. And on the second day I have my fill.
Renny-Alexander.
18/03/05 Making a statement
In the light of recent events I will say no more but that it actually takes two to tango. Unfortunately some people, I think, have forgotten this.
This lay I've had for a couple of months on my comp and now I thought to use it. No offence to anyone, the film is great, but I do not see it that often for it causes 'Ireland blues'.
Foul weather in Finland today, piles of cars off the roads here in the Southern part, some four hundred! However, only three people were killed, so far. This brings up an idea, from Rika, that all Finns should have a compulsory driving test every winter. This meaning that in a safe environment people would get the feeling how their cars behave on icy roads. Load of grief and gray hair would be avoided by doing this. Agree? Hand up, please.
I phoned to Satu yesterday, just asking if she was wearing green. Nope, she was on sick leave and she was losing her head! Getting bored just hanging around her 'spacious' apartment in Helsinki. Loads of laughs, bit of Ireland- talk but we do not want to go in that direction, too much happy memories of life that was so easy.
I go now, to finnish this lay. Sorry about the typ-O with the word 'fáílte'. I will fix it ASAP *hangs head in shame*